Tuesday, April 25, 2006

You'll Surely Be Okay XD

Well actually it's Arashi's new single, "Kitto Daijoubu" so I am okay, as long as I see their shows night and day which is what I am actually doing right now XD. Apparently their performance during Shounen Club Premium last Sunday was one person short - Nino was still in U.S. filming Clint Eastwood's Red Sun, Black Sand, though from the latest news, he's already back in Japan, yatta!!!! Not used to seeing only 4 performing anyway. If I watch that movie, it would only because of Nino XD. So katik, yet so talented *swoons. Fangirl moment, sumimasen.



**The quality of the video is not that good in Youtube. Can't see Sho's secret smile when he made the wrong turn *sighs. Surprised to see his fluffy hair, though he still looks good XD. Think that Jun shrank back again after HYD (Don't think that I could handle watching him in his upcoming movie "Boku Wa Imouto Koi Ni Suru" - the title gives me the creeps), Riida looks "Oh-so-kakkoi" and Aiba is suave as always. Dang, sure miss Nino. IMO, the dance kinda didn't match the song's meaning. It's actually the commercial song for a vitamin drink. Erm... vitamin drink + translation... XD, pfftt H?...Can see the air guitar movement - maybe because of too many air guitar band audition in G No Arashi XD.



**All time favourite, A Day In Our Life - the mix & dance from the Iza Now Concert tour. Probably if they performed the regular version, the loss of Nino's voice during the Sho-rap back up would be too significant.
So anyway managed to pick up my 2 years "Hanging on the wall" guitar, clip my nails, tune it back up and played it a little because of Remioromen's Kona yuki (powdered snow) just to find out... I forgot the whole chords - even the basic ones **smack forehead. There I went hunting for my old guitar chord and scales book. Well one thing for sure, I could still play Ronan Keating's When You Say Nothing At All (Dayah's teaching that managed to be stuck in my head) and Green Day's Time of Your Life (I forgot the other title, but that one courtesy of Man f**ker's teaching). Not good at tuning the guitar actually. Last time during college, I got Azhar to tune it for me. Dang, he is sure lost in space somewhere and didn't even contact the rest of us after graduation.
Off to bed,
Minna oyasumi nasai *waves.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Luahan Perasaan Part 2

Warning!!
True to the title, it is a luahan perasaan and full with negativity.

2 years worth of bottled up emotion.

I think I am reaching my breaking point already with this job.

Funds are getting low because to date, there are a number of clients who haven't paid for our work and both bosses are contantly barking at our heels for things that they thought I should do. It is getting on to my nerves already. I didn't know that I am in charge of an area at all. One time they were saying, okay this is your area, and then last week, they were like, "You have to check up this area you know" as if I am not doing anything at all. Last time " You have to remind me on the work program okay and I'll bring our team there" and not long after "You can't just remind me, you have to organize to group, I'm only helping you." Now where does that comes from? It's driving me insane. I was always put on a mouse hunt, when there are things are due the day after, they would put me at the site. When the things are not done the most annoying line was "I don't care how you do it but I want things done." How am I supposed to get it done when there's always an errand that they put me on? I bring work to home everyday without fail and I'm not a superwoman. When I get so tired from siteworks, its hard to pick up a pencil and do design. Tried sketching at the site but how am I able to sketch when the bosses kept calling me asking for the records of work at the site.

Designwise, when I proposed for a design, she would say it would look odd, weird, etc. When we got a contract where the design is a little bit similar to the one that I proposed for - for other site, they said, we should try this design once a while. I just had enough of it

Sometimes I feel like saying to hell with everything.

I am in the brink of that.

Breaking point was few days ago when the boss was screaming at me in front of the clients to cover up their blunders. There I go, the scapegoat.

I am tired of all this. My work contract requires for 2 months notice. Pretty long for a small company. Just because my predecessors mostly quit 1 month max after service because my boss is moody. I just wonder how did I managed to stay there that long...

Smilingdiah is not smiling anymore. She kept on frowning lately

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

1 Liter Of Tears

Spent my whole Sunday watching �シ代Μ繝�繝医Ν縺ョ豸� (Ichi Ritoru No Namida/1 Liter Of Tears). True to the title, I managed to emit out loads of tears watching every episode of the drama. Managed to drag my mak as my companion though she just made a crack on every funny translation that they got in the boxset. Who wouldn't laugh at '1 liter punya airmata' translation for the title?

Though anyway it was about a girl who got Spinocerebellar disease. Sounds fancy but basically it's a disease where the patient lost complete ability to control their body. It goes by stages that is. Anyway, 1 liter of tears was based on the life journal of Kitou Aya who passed away because of the particular disease. She was active in sports and one of the brightest student in her school. Her world came tumbling down when she discovered she sometimes couldn't control her movement, fell down without any reason and sometimes seeing things in double. Her soon to be boyfriend ditched her because of the sickness and as time goes by her whole classmates was calling her a nuisance because their studies was affected by her. She couldn't manage to write as fast as she could before and the teachers had to slow down their teaching because of that.

Aya lost her ability one by one. The story ciculated on how she lived her life before she passed away. The tearjerking scene came when even that she became an object of ridicule among her peers, she still managed to smile.

P.S: I don't have a life, hehehe. Only work and watching dramas 24/7. Bear with me ;)

Friday, April 14, 2006

Rambling of an Old Woman

Hello everyone!!
Hey minna!!
Konnichiwa, Ohayou, Konbanwa!!
Sabahul khair!! Masa'ul khair!!
Good morning, good evening and good afternoon!! (that just sound like a line from Lo's Evening News).

Sound a bit demented after a short hiatus. Though, more than a week in the tech world is actually long. A lot could happen in just a milisecond. Work has been hectic as always, especially few days back when some of the workers created a havoc. Normal labour relation trouble that I bet a lot would have to go through handling much too young workers.

My reprieve?

My PC with internet connection of course (sounds pathetic, thee hee).

Even so, I happened to skip checking my mails for 3 days. Just 3 days and there it goes, 60 unread messages exluding hundreds of spams in the bulk folder. Missed 4 days of learning kanji through e-mail, stuck at letter 'su' for both hiragana and katakana.

Cause?

Too caught up watching 'Kimi Wa Petto' on Youtube. The loading takes about 30 minutes max for a portion so sometimes I managed to get 2 full episodes in a night. The title sounded totally kinky to me at first sight. Some box set translated it as 'Pet Lover', some 'You're my Pet'. About a highly successful journalist who kept having trouble expressing herself, dubbed as the kakashi or noh doll behind her back by her collegue. The weird part came when she found a box filled with a young man covered with blood. Rain fell, she took the box in and cared for the young man. He woke up, felt indebted and wanting to stay with her. She agreed - only if he becomes her pet. Yeah yeah sound kinky but its not in the kinky way but still kinky in some way, nothing to do with sex. Being pet as pet. Like rearing a cat - feed them, take care of them, wash them and all that. Weird. But funny. Jun was in it, thee heee.

Then, watching the movie Azumi that took forever for the download to finish. It was an old movie. Old as in 2003 release. About an orphan girl, Azumi (obviously) who was reared along with other 9 boys as an assassin group. The mission was to hunt and kill leaders who becomes a threat to the Tokugawa reign. Watching the movie just remind me a lot of Kill Bill. Blood and gore, though Kill Bill was a whole lot unrealistic with blood that basically sprayed out like it was coming out from a hose. The starting of the story was like a cliche. Girl was found beside mom's dead body. An old man walked by with some boys spotted the girl and took her in. Few years passed by and then the characters fell down like dead flies, beginning with the final ritual of being an assassin - killing your own best friend. Demented. Lowdown - Joe Odagiri, the hero in Shinobi became the most psycho killer, hunting down Azumi's group. The psycho killer part I could stand but his character looked like a total pansy with too much powder on. *Sighs.

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Scary.

Not because of Azumi.

Just that I've realized that I somewhat have reverted back to my old secondary school self only that now I have a job.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Keep Tryin'

When everything around becomes stressful, out of hand and sometimes makes you want to quit - take a deep breath and think again, and then get stressful again. NVM, the rant of a stressed out person, hahaha.
My theme would be Utada Hikaru's new song. Very meaningful when you look into the translation. Motivating. I love the PV because of the graphic :D




Keep Tryin' - Utada Hikaru

I don't care about anything
As I made a face that says as much
I was always, always praying
Asking for too much
I can't be even a little satisfied
So keep trying

A comedy program on at ten o'clock
Even though I've recovered from being tired from work
I don't want to be by myself
That's an important thing to me
I'm getting more careful than I was last year
Only a challenger can win the prize
I want to win it

I don't care about anything
I was a little late this morning
But I'm going to try hard from here
I expect so much
But I'm no idiot
So keep trying

The truth is that I'm more hungry than anyone
Even though I hide my confusion about my feelings
Every morning my weak and honest face is reflected in the mirror
I want to get rid of it
Wishes on a moonlit night are beautiful things
But I'm a target, jumping into the mud
Lady, let's go

I don't care about anything
As I struck a cool pose I fought with telling the truth
Life is important
You really should care about it a little more
Please take a break
"Time is money"
In the future, don't tell me that you're a government official
They've got no dreams
"Money over love"
It's alright if my darling is a salaryman
If we've got love

I don't care about anything
As I made a face that says as much
I was always, always praying
Asking for too much
I can't be even a little satisfied
So keep trying

Donburakokko
Rising and falling in this world is harsh
The only person with unchanging values
At any given time, is you

Boys always, always leave my love unrequited
A price can't be put on passion, on passion
Father, keep trying, trying
Mother, keep trying, trying
Big brother, conductor, bride, keep trying, trying


Just love the last part when she went on "Otousan, keep trying trying, Ookasan, keep trying, trying, Onee-chan and all that". Minna ganbarimas!!

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Ode to Cikgu Zaiton/Mudirah

I was browsing through the online learn Japanese for beginner site when my mak came into my room - browsing through my notebook filled with Japanese alphabets - only from 'a' to 'se' - and said, to quote "Baguslah belajar bahasa Jepun. Lepas ni belajar French dengan Spanish. Arab tu kena betulkan balik." Then it hit me - I love languages, though not good in many. Even my Malay and English grammar is still going haywire.

My father is quadruplingual (I honestly don't know if that word exist or not, hehehe). He's able to converse in Malay, English, Arab & Javanese. Most of my Chinese & Indian friends are trilingual and sometimes I just envy those who are able to speak more than 3 languages. Languages are beautiful. It is our most precious form of communication - even cavemen have their language. I spoke Malay ever since I could speak, I learned English from TV and school and I've learned Arabic since I was 8, which I say is a pity that I wasn't able to master it. I'm 100% Javanese but I only know very little of it. Another pity. I was able to converse in sign language when my housemate's sister stayed with us for quite a long time. She is deaf but the whole house occupants were able to learn the language from her because of her warm personality. Then again, when she moved out I forgot nearly all of it.

My all-time favourite English teacher would be Puan Norliah (though I bet most of my friends don't like her). She have her moments but to me, her class was never boring. Cikgu Zaiton a.k.a Mudirah would be my all-time favourite Arabic teacher. In from 3, I was put in the weakest set for Arab (I always get C at that time boardering to D) and she was the teacher. From the moment the class starts, everyone was put on alert when she wrote a word on the board and picked us at random to construct a sentence from it and put the word synonym and opposite word (in Arabic of course). It was quite tense for me because she would always remember my sister. My sister was a student in KTAM, '88 batch and she was the head-prefect during her time - a fact that I believe, I never told any of my schoolmates of.

The hard work paid off when I was able to construct easy sentences and I was able to compose a short essay in Arabic myself. When I was in Form 4, Ija and Rafidah, my fellow juniors/dorm-mates approached me after they did an interview with Cikgu Zaiton for their PMR history project. They said that when they asked the most memorable moment for her - she said, it was when I got A for my Arabic. They told me that she didn't expect that at all because of my previous results and that she was actually waiting for me to see my results at the middle of the 'kolong' from the office. When they said that, I suddenly remembered that she was laughing from the office door at my reaction. How can't I be touched? Though it all went out when I was in upper secondary. I wasn't able to keep up with my new Arabic teacher. Not his fault but I lack the motivation because Arab Tinggi is the literature part of Arabic. If it was communication Arabic, I think I would able to but I'd still say, a pity for me. Cikgu Zaiton retired when we were in Form 4. I miss her actually and would really want to meet her again someday - probably would be bringing my sister too.

Hmm... any possibilty of me being multi-lingual?