Made In Malaysia

Car: Perodua Kancil EX850
Bumper Sticker: Courtesy of my big brother
Jalur Gemilang/Malaysia Flag: Courtesy of my mother
Nice shine: Courtesy of myself :D

Anyway, just want to wish all Malaysian
MERDEKA, MERDEKA, MERDEKA!!!!!
and to Malaysia for 47th years of independence.

Saya Anak Malaysia

Lost......

I've pushed to get through
The crowds in twisted zone
Just to find I'm right back here
Doing what I'm told
So take my hand
Don't let me surrender
'Cuz maybe someday
Yeah, in time

Things will go my way
Things will go my way

For all the lives
I've tasted
Just looking for the truth
For all the dreams I'm chasing
What am I to do
With everything against me
The answers are all wrong
Open now, I'll find out
It was working all along

So hold me now
And say it's not forever
Maybe someday
In time

Things will go my way

Taken from 'Things will Go My Way - The Calling'
....... feels slightly lost.......
Hoping things will go my way, our way
and be happy one day

My Firsts

From the first time i stepped into this world from my mother's womb, I have experienced many firsts - from first breath of air, first cry, first food. So these are my firsts - those that I could remember up until now (and that does not include the documentation of my antics from my mom) when I mean the things that I could remember, it means the things that happen after I'm 5:-

First silly question: "Mak, kenapa orang lain ada adik tapi diah tak ada adik?" (translation: why does other people have younger brother/sister but I don't?) That was asked by me when I was in kindergarten. I was surrounded by kids who are either the first in the family or in between who have baby brothers and sisters so, what could you expect from a barely 6 year old kid to think of? My mom said that sometimes when she brought me to her office after school ends she would find me sitting on her table praying for a younger sibling - after she went out to get something. Silly indeed. Anyway, my prayers were answered in November 1987 :p

First hopeless situation: Kindergarten - I was in the wrong crowd and were being bullied by that one tyrant of a girl named Syakinah. Well, nearly all of us in the group were. Anyway by fate, Syakinah went to the same boarding school and funnily enough, she couldn't remember me nor my other friends who were in the group. We went to different primary schools - I was in STMI1 while she was in SKBP (STMI1's arch-rival) Anyway, its good knowing that I am taller than her when I met her and of course, she's one of the school rules abider while I'm not. Funny how things change.

First piercing: Kindergarten - ears, 2 holes. hahahahaha, what do you expect? nose piercing at the age of 6?

First fist fight: Standard 1 with a boy named Suradi. He punched me after I went out of the girl's room for no reason, and so of course I punched back. Luckily a teacher saw the whole incident and knowing that he was being watched he suddenly cried and ran to the teacher - Cikgu Ahmad Nasim, telling on me. Like I said, the teacher saw everything so he was pretty much in a big trouble the whole year. Besides, I was that particular teacher's pet what more could I say? :D though it was quite disconcerting when cikgu Ahmad Nasim kept teasing me that he would matchmake me with his son throughout my primary school years. All hell broke lose when his son moved into the school when we were in standard 6. I was being teased mercilessly for that.

First bicycle lesson: By Bangbil. He didn't manage to get me to ride the bike at that time - he gave up, after numerous attempt, hehehe. I learnt riding myself at my aunt's house in KL.

First caning session: Standard 1 (oh no, standard 1 again?) for not finishing my homework.

First competition: Story telling competition, standard 3. The story was "The Stupid Mule", hahahaha. About a mule who manage to lighten his burden of salt when it went through the river and tried to lighten up his burden of sponges by doing the same thing. I got 3rd place.

First album: Roxette's Joyride. That's my favorite with songs like Fading Like Flower, Spending My Time, etc etc. Still my favourite, but then under some faulty accident, it broke into 2 and was lost. That album is hard to find nowadays, still trying to find it but there were none in the record stores.

First mischief: I forgot when but it was the time when I ganged up with my neighbours and my brother - Bangbil, Ogee, Mamat and I to set up firecrackers on the biggest house at our area that time - Ong's house. We were never caught and when Chinese New year comes, we would show up at his house for a visit :D

First foolish moment: When I was playing 'batu seremban' with my friends at my desk using erasers. I got so caught up in the game that I managed to fall on the floor bringing the desk and the chair with me. I was in form 4.

First crush: On hmm..... who? I forgot. Okay.... let me think back... who have I have crush on who is not a popstar or an actor.......((thinking very hard))......... ((thinking very very hard))......... aduh mak, sakit kepala. Okay I guess it was Helmey Ghaffar - Standard 5. He was quite popular with the girls in primary school and was my partner in crime when we were in standard 3. Guess I was one of the fans too, which I'm not quite sure whether its right or not.

First traffic accident: 3rd year degree - I was riding my motorbike and was sandwiched in between 2 cars. Luckily the damage was not that bad but my sister, Kak Wa realized the new parts on my bike when she paid a visit. I told her that I have changed it for a long time only that she didn't notice. She believed it nevertheless and dropped the subject.

First E-mail address: gwing_aikawa@hotmail.com Okay so I love gundam wing at that time and I love dear boys anime.

First phone session that exceeds 3 hrs and a half: Jeff :D

Okay so there are many more firsts that I didn't add. If I go on with the list, it will never end. There's still many firsts that I haven't do and many firsts that are quite personal. The firsts are one of the best things to explore - there are so many things to do out there, and I would never stop finding the firsts.

Hopes, Dreams and Ambitions

Since the day I stepped into the classroom of the primary school, I have been asked by my teachers quite a number of times with this question - What do you want to be when you grow up? This questions have been asked twice a year by the teacher to be filled out for the progress report card which also includes our grades. They would want us to give them 3 career of what do we want to be and sort them out by which one hold our interest most. Luckily in secondary school the teacher would only ask for one job As for my answer, it varies and when I looked back at the progress card, nearly all of the time I answered 3 different jobs. But then again, none of the jobs that I named out has anything to do with what I am doing now. Here is the list of my hope and dreams while I was growing up (haven't stopped growing last I checked) :-

Primary School
Standard 1 :
Ambitions: Teacher, Army and Phone Operator - okay so my knowledge about career is very limited when I was 7. I remember looking at a picture dictionary that have listed the jobs and provided some pictures to go along with and one particular picture that shows a woman sticking plug onto a board looks interesting so I thought, okay, that looks fine.
Hope and Dreams: To grow up really quick - I get so sick of homework and having to be the frequent student who have to stand up on the chair each time in class. Well most of the time I didn't finish it because I forgot and was too caught up playing with my friends after school ends.

Standard 4:
Ambitions: Pilot, Surgeon and Scientist - The scientist part comes at the spur of the moment when my cousin Dayah a.k.a Ninie and I were both regulars at the public library. We had stumbled upon a rack full of encyclopaedia about science - Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, you name it, they got it. For the pilot part, of course, it is cool to be one of the female pilot in Malaysia so I put it in my progress card. But then again, I discovered that I have to wear glasses in standard 6 with the vision of 200 - 50. So the pilot part goes down the drain. Strangely enough, my vision has recovered in secondary school and now its 50-50. For the surgeon, sounds intelligent, hahahaha
Hopes and Dreams: Be one of the person in the 'in' crowd, be a prefect for the obvious reason (which I did in standard 4), to participate in as many sport as I could get into and get myself in any co-curricular activities.

Secondary School
Form 1:
Ambition (take note that there's no "s"): Surgeon - at this point of my life I was thinking that being a doctor is one of the most noblest job in the world. To save life and of course find cure for the most incurable disease. The key point was to make the world a better place to live.
Hopes and Dreams: To get out of the boarding school and went to the normal daytime school. Come to think of it, it is comical and I am glad that I didn't get out of the school. It was the best years of my life, still is.

Form 2:
Ambition: Writer - My brother, Bangbil brought home a paperback novel by Christopher Pike entitled Remember Me. At first I was always thinking, what is so good about that book that he read it so many times. So one day when I was sent home because of a case of high fever and my brother was at his boarding school, I took that book and read it. I was hooked and haven't stopped buying books ever since. I have written some stories myself and my friends love it. Right now, I have it stashed in an undisclosed location - because I can't stop laughing that I have actually written those.
Hopes and Dreams: To spend the rest of my life at the school with my friends. That is pretty much unrealistic as time never waits for anyone.

Pre - University
Ambition: Anything that has nothing to do with dissection and chemistry - I don't have that much choice in pre-u because I was offered a spot at the matriculation centre with science course so my future career was somewhat fuzzy in my eyes. Thought of wanting to give the carrer to be a surgeon a second try until one lab session where I was told to dissect a rat. I nearly passed out but then since I saw one of my lab mate - a guy who actually fainted (he's one of the 'macho' guys) I just told myself to be strong. But I know I don't want to make a career out of dissecting a living being. That is how I landed myself in this field that I'm in now - not so much of chemistry and of course, I don't have to perform surgery on any living things.
Hopes and Dreams: Wish that I could turn back the time and stay in the secondary school years, hahaha.

Present days
Ambition, Hope and Dreams: Nowadays to me, a career doesn't make a person but the person makes the career for them. Maybe some might not get what I want to say but that is my thoughts about career. It doesn't really matter what work we do today as long as we are happy with it and be satisfied. The most importants thing is we get to spend our time with our loved ones. That is my dream - to spend my life to see the face of my loved ones and be happy. Might sound a little bit naive but that is my opinion. Be happy, be good and be loved :D

"What is life without a dream?"

Edmond Rostand

Memories Frozen in Time

This is one of the time when I get melancholic and the things that I do when I get to that state is to browse through the photograph album that I have compiled throughout my growing up years up until now. Pictures are some of the things that I could never get tired of, whether it was a bad shot or a good one. Like a saying that goes - a picture could tell thousand stories.... well not in that exact words but close enough.

I smiled at every turn of the page. When I was a baby, I don't have that much of recollection of what had happened at every shot that was taken. All that I can see are pictures of me toothless, hairless (I even got a name for that premature hair growing event, hahahaha) , being put up to wear a really huge sunglasses and more. One thing that I remembered most about growing up is to be constantly in the middle of the war between my brother and sister. They would fight as always and sometimes if something that they threw at hit me in the process, both of them fled, leaving me crying. One of the thing being a little kid in the family at that time, you're pretty much helpless.

Anyway a picture that means so much to me is the class picture that was taken in Form 1. The funny thing is I wasn't even smiling because I was so homesick to go home and I happen to know what exactly I was thinking at that moment, and no, I'm not going to tell that in here. Its too funny now come to think of it.

After done browsing through I went off to my big little brother's and my pc to burn the pictures that I have downloaded from my camera. One of the not so good thing when you own a digital camera, you don't bother that much to redevelop it on print. So there I have, more than 20 folders that I have downloaded since the day I bought the camera from the PC Fair. I burned in the best shots, with the happy thought of wanting to send it off to the photo shop to be printed and fill my album out until I did a final count. I have 217 pictures in my CD...... with a quick calculation in my head..... 36 3R pictures = about RM19.++ and since it gonna be digital print its gonna cost a little bit more... make that 60cents per print so abt RM21.++ , 217 = +/- 6 times of 36...... 6x21.++...... okay, so I decided to send it to be printed on my next salary. Megasale is still on so i might as well spend that particular portion on the things on sale. I have my priorities too :D so the pictures could hold out for few weeks.

Paycheck

I haven't realized that I have not been writing off anything in my blog - until Dayah pointed it out that she missed reading my post (hehehehe rindu jugak awak kat blog kita ye?) My logic part of the brain haven't been functioning properly since the day my paycheck was cleared off, hehehehe. what else could a girl do when she got her first full paycheck other than shop and pampering herself? Actually i have been delaying for a day when it got cleared due to an unsuspected high fever and flu. As always, there are good thing that come out of the fever - I get an MC and get more time to spend at home and of course get to spend more time with Jeff although I fell asleep on him quite a number of time while we were talking. Bangbil gave me one good cure for a fever - shopping when everyone else at work. I would consider doing that but then again my head felt that it weighs a ton. Anyhow I also managed to get my passport done (my dad drove) because my boss has been telling me that she wanted to get me to Singapore for more ideas on the landscape (how can I not love my job?)
My brain was rapidly planning on the shopping spree on the next day when I feel slightly better. A slight flu won't stop me from pampering myself. Actually I only went to Jusco Taman U, since it has nearly everything that i want. Besides, it is nearer to my office and thinking about making a trip to City Square makes me feel sicker. I am excited on going for the shopping but 5.30 pm traffic jam at Jalan Wong Ah Fook is not where I want to be in at any cost. Besides, the parking ticket there is rated by hour, hehehehe.
My first stop was to MPH bookstore. I haven't been reading a lot lately and embarrassingly I nearly don't know what has been going on in the local and international scene until my mom pointed it out during dinner when I asked her why is she suddenly so interested about helicopter. Apparently I missed out on the news where a helicopter was lost in Sarawak and there haven't had any trace on it for weeks. So then I vowed myself to read the newspaper once a week - okay so once a week is okay other than nothing at all. But then again my choice of reading material that I bought in MPH has nothing to do with the current news. Its a paperback novel and its a fiction.
Then I went to Secret Recipe. The thought of steamy mushroom chicken and the carrot slice makes my mouth water and makes my already empty tummy grumbles. Of course after gathering up all the energy needed for the shopping, off I go armed with a basket. I get so caught up getting things into the basket since everything looks so good and of course the price is good too. Bought lots of stuff for my brother's car.... ehem, my car now, some toiletries, clothes, food for my ever hungry little brother at home and of course some...... okay that one is personal so I won't tell it off in here.
The shopping spree was great though I have started calculating on how much I have spent and then I actually stunned myself with the amount. The surprise is, I still have lots in my wallet and I didn't go overboard with the spending. Maybe I could start making that as a monthly routine :D September is coming real soon and I might bring someone along for the expedition. Wonder if he last, hahahahaha

Attack of the Killer Ink Cartridge

No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try I still get sleepy during working hours - and believe me late afternoon is the most critical time for that. Work is slow so far but I know we have lots of them in the file, waiting to be chased by the project owner, hehehehe. I guess this is one of the time when I am dying to do some work. If there's no work, what else could I do than just sit and stare at the very cute display of my desktop (yeah, you got it, I wallpapered Jeff's face on my desktop at the office) Anyway, these are some of the hopeless attempts that I did (some works and some doesn't) to avoid boredom and sleepiness.

1. Water up the plants all around the office - That only takes effect when I am doing it and not afterwards, so that one pretty much gone down to the drain next time. Besides, I might kill off the plants if I went overboard with the watering. Did that every morning when I got to work and if I water it more in the afternoon, I might kill it.
2. Read a book - This attempt works a few time especially when both of my bosses are not around. The choice of books plays an important role too. If you read Shakespeare to cease off the sleepiness, I might say that you are making one big mistake, at least for me. Like my big little brother A'an said, he loves to read his chemistry notes at certain nights - to make him sleep, hahahaha
3. Play with the art glue or some might call it rubber cement - When I say play, I mean play and no sniffing out the smell that comes out from the glue or you have one big issue ahead of you. How to play? easy. Pour out the glue from the tube on a piece of paper and leave it to dry. You can start playing with it by peeling the glue off the paper especially when it is halfway dry. It is called rubber cement for a reason, it is rubber based and when you have the whole chunk of it dry, you got yourself a very small rubber ball that somewhat looks like a huge chunk of booger, hahahaha. I ended up with more than 10 big chunks of the mini balls.
   
4. Refill the ink cartridge - When I say refill, I mean refill, not change the whole cartridge. You know, the refill packages that they sold in the computer shops where they supply you with big syringes filled with ink, whether its black or colour. By refilling the cartridge this way, its actually cost effective and of course it is way cheaper than buying the whole thing but you have to change the printer head after 4 times doing the manual refill. One of the cool thing doing this is that you get to see the color absorb into the cartridge (well okay, this does sound a little bit pathetic but this is what people do when they get extremely bored with no other choices left to do). The not so cool thing and believe me, it plays an important role to make you forget that you were even sleepy is that when you get too caught up refilling the ink without realizing that the ink is dripping out of the cartridge on to the carpet/pants/shirt/hands. When this happens, voila! you will forget that u were sleepy in the very first place. I did that today and the yellow ink spurted out of the syringe to my clothes ...tsk tsk tsk.
   

There you go, things that I did today to keep off from being sleepy. Okay so some might say, "dah tak ada kerja apa?" (translation: what? nothing to do eh?). That is the culprit, I've done it all. Sadly, I did sleep in front of the pc after doing all those attempt, without my head touching the desk and my boss was in her office, giving out a briefing to our part time accountant. Yes, I was sitting straight on the chair and surprisingly I last about 30 minutes without moving, from 3.00pm to 3.30pm. I woke up when she was done with the briefing, talk about my good dose of luck. The blessings that comes in the form of a work that my boss gave me 5 minutes before I got off, its for tomorrow's work. *Sighs, I should join in the Sleepaholic Anonymous

Tribute to August 4th

Throughout the night I have done a research on what had happened this very day in the history. Guess that this is wht every reporter have to go through before they produce a really good article. Well okay i didn't do any interview so this is what i get.

THINGS THAT HAPPENS ON AUGUST 4TH

Supernova seen in Cassiopeia
I wonder how people at that time period saw the occurrence without the aid of cool gadgets that could be found today. Just for everyone's information cassiopeia is actually on of the constellations in the sky named after a fabled Ethiopeian queen of the same name who was banished and turned upside down at the sky to be looked at because she offended the god. Cassiopeia is also a portion of my e-mail - due to one particular movie (Serendipity) that i watched thousands of times with my cousin Ninie who took some part of the story to be our e-mail ID.

Sea battle between Netherlands & England
I honestly don't know what is the cause for this sea battle but i guess its must be about power. Besides if we check on the history timeline, that was the period of the English colonialism and other big powers in Europe were fighting for their territory. Nowadays they are still fighting among each other - in a different arena and that is in football or soccer as some place might call it. I would sure love to watch Netherlands vs England..... though i'm pretty sure that Netherlands might win, especially if David Beckham was given an opportunity to make a penalty shot. He's bad at that section, hahahaha.

French National Meeting ending Feudal System
This is the French revolution period where the Pro-Feudal supporter were being guillotined, the extremist who didn't support the feudal system were being decapitated too and also the suspicious looking people. Lots of lives were lost and that does include King Loius - i forgot the number and his wife, Queen Marie Antoinette. Okay so I remember enjoying reading this part back in secondary school in the history textbook because of the guillotine and the Bastille.

The songs that were hot on August 4th

1967 - Light My Fire - The Doors

1983 - Every Breath You Take - The Police

Actually, the main reason I start out writing off this blog entry is because it's JEFF'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! and that is what matters most to me that happens in August 4th 1979. The day he was born into the world, the day he become alive outside the womb, the day he took his first breath, the day he starts his life being the Jeff I know now. I love you baby and I can never be thankful enough for who you are right now and for the fact that we found each other. Oh and I forgot to hightlight this event

1979 Jeff was born

I have a story i long to tell

About a girl who finally fell
For an incredible man whose cute and tall
Who makes her grin, blush and all

He is funny, he is sensitive and sugary sweet
Modifying machines is one of his feat
She is so glad she finally meet
A man who stole her heart so quick

His voice is like a soothing balm
That sometime causes sweaty palms
The voice lingers in her ears still
Igniting her daydream making her feel

Looking at the sky so blue
She picture a person she found so true
Chasing away any thoughts that is gloom
Who makes the flower in her heart bloom
- poem composed by nadiah, June 13 2004, 11.36pm