I have been wanting to write about this in my blog about ... well not to be so 'sangka' of myself or 'perasan', its just a story that I guess worth to tell. About how I lost 2o kilos and look the way I am today. Actually weight issue has never been a problem to me and its also because of the gene factor. Most of my cousins on my mom's side are big. I was quite active in sports at school - played volleyball and handball for school so there was no problem with my stamina. But then again, nothing in life is that perfect. It was hard to get clothes my size when basically everything beautiful on the rack was made for medium framed girls, and not big girls like me. At one point in secondary school I was kind of depressed because of that. There was no taunting whatsoever - that comes in college, though I'm very sure that many girls feels like I do when the big word of INSECURITY comes into the picture.
Surprisingly enough when I was in Form 4 I resorted to throwing up all I ate. I became bulimic for a few months until one of my friends found out. She manage to get every girls in the my class to guard me up everytime i went to the restroom after mealtime to stop whatever I was doing. I couldn't thank her enough for that - Thanks Roy. As time passed by it was getting really annoying. I have stopped throwing up but they still wait up on me - I haven't had a peaceful moment doing what I want to do. One of my friends gave me an article about bulimia nervosa and I was glad I'm out of the danger. SPM was still far but I really want my brain to be functional as well as my whole body. I couldn't risk having a bad health when the handball season was drawing near. Starting from that incident, all I care about was my studies and of course my confidence level. 'Beauty is in the eye of beholder' becomes my mantra (though Dayah/Ninie said in her blog few day back that she thought the phrase was all bull, but heck this is me)
In Pre-U, the bug bites back but it was on a low level. I was not that serious about it. Since I know the danger of the 2 nervosas - Bulimia and Anorexia I didn't fall back to that. Herbal laxative comes into the picture and boy, it was such a suffering that I stopped after the first month. I can't actually go to the restroom all the time.
In degree years, being a design student was hard especially for those who does not have any art and design background. I ran away from science stream because of my bad brush with chemistry (long story there) and thought this course might be easier and enjoyable. I was wrong on the easy part but I was right on the enjoyable. Being surrounded with classmate that consist 70% males, I had to find my own niche and make my own stand. I did, but then again when sometimes the guys were talking about some girls with bad attitude I would be carried into the conversation. Just my name though, and they would say something like - she's not even pretty, even Diah is prettier. That stung but I did not do anything about it.
I only want to graduate, get my degree and the rest doesn't matter. Because of that drive I focused too much on my project - less sleep, less appetite, don't feel like having fun and everything that comes with it. I barely had time to sleep much less to eat so I only ate what is convenient at that time - cut fruits, could be brought anywhere and eaten basically everywhere. When I happen to buy decent food, the appetite was just not there and at some time I was the class favourite mealtime buddy. I ate a little and the rest of my friends would finish it off. A good friend of mine Mahathir Muhammad (yes, that is his name we always kid him around being the PM) pointed that if I really want to lose weight go ahead and take 'Sendayu Tinggi' - one of the leading name in herbal weight lost supplement. But then he said, "You don't have to, I don't want to oogle at you when you lose it". Sounds like a dare to me.
I took it starting from March 2004 and I was 78kg (about 170 in pounds) and it works. It is kind of good when meeting up with friends after a long time, especially during graduation. I so love the look on everyone's face - only for that time and it was priceless. Same goes when there were family gatherings - the first one after a long time they did not see me was on my cousin's wedding. It was good. Its been 6 months and now I would say that I'm happy with what I have now - only because its easier to buy new clothes (gosh! this really sound like a testimony for sendayu tinggi). Though there is a problem. I have to get a whole new wardrobe.
any difference? 
Surprisingly enough when I was in Form 4 I resorted to throwing up all I ate. I became bulimic for a few months until one of my friends found out. She manage to get every girls in the my class to guard me up everytime i went to the restroom after mealtime to stop whatever I was doing. I couldn't thank her enough for that - Thanks Roy. As time passed by it was getting really annoying. I have stopped throwing up but they still wait up on me - I haven't had a peaceful moment doing what I want to do. One of my friends gave me an article about bulimia nervosa and I was glad I'm out of the danger. SPM was still far but I really want my brain to be functional as well as my whole body. I couldn't risk having a bad health when the handball season was drawing near. Starting from that incident, all I care about was my studies and of course my confidence level. 'Beauty is in the eye of beholder' becomes my mantra (though Dayah/Ninie said in her blog few day back that she thought the phrase was all bull, but heck this is me)
In Pre-U, the bug bites back but it was on a low level. I was not that serious about it. Since I know the danger of the 2 nervosas - Bulimia and Anorexia I didn't fall back to that. Herbal laxative comes into the picture and boy, it was such a suffering that I stopped after the first month. I can't actually go to the restroom all the time.
In degree years, being a design student was hard especially for those who does not have any art and design background. I ran away from science stream because of my bad brush with chemistry (long story there) and thought this course might be easier and enjoyable. I was wrong on the easy part but I was right on the enjoyable. Being surrounded with classmate that consist 70% males, I had to find my own niche and make my own stand. I did, but then again when sometimes the guys were talking about some girls with bad attitude I would be carried into the conversation. Just my name though, and they would say something like - she's not even pretty, even Diah is prettier. That stung but I did not do anything about it.
I only want to graduate, get my degree and the rest doesn't matter. Because of that drive I focused too much on my project - less sleep, less appetite, don't feel like having fun and everything that comes with it. I barely had time to sleep much less to eat so I only ate what is convenient at that time - cut fruits, could be brought anywhere and eaten basically everywhere. When I happen to buy decent food, the appetite was just not there and at some time I was the class favourite mealtime buddy. I ate a little and the rest of my friends would finish it off. A good friend of mine Mahathir Muhammad (yes, that is his name we always kid him around being the PM) pointed that if I really want to lose weight go ahead and take 'Sendayu Tinggi' - one of the leading name in herbal weight lost supplement. But then he said, "You don't have to, I don't want to oogle at you when you lose it". Sounds like a dare to me.
I took it starting from March 2004 and I was 78kg (about 170 in pounds) and it works. It is kind of good when meeting up with friends after a long time, especially during graduation. I so love the look on everyone's face - only for that time and it was priceless. Same goes when there were family gatherings - the first one after a long time they did not see me was on my cousin's wedding. It was good. Its been 6 months and now I would say that I'm happy with what I have now - only because its easier to buy new clothes (gosh! this really sound like a testimony for sendayu tinggi). Though there is a problem. I have to get a whole new wardrobe.
any difference? 
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